When God is Silent

These are things I see in Moses life:

A man of timidity but a man of power
A man who had a temper, but a man with a passion for God
A man of excuses, but a man who stood firm in opposition
A man of stumbling words, but a man whose words could change God's mind

and lastly, and what I want to focus on,

A mere man, but he spoke to God face to face


Read the life of Moses, and count how many times Moses went to inquire of God, and God would answer him with an audible voice.

This makes me so jealous of Moses because whenever Moses needed an answer, God spoke up. For me, I start to search my own heart and ask God these questions:

Am i not listening hard enough?
Am i not spending enough time with you?
Am i not recognizing which voice is yours?

After all these questions, self-condemnation comes in and says that I am not good enough to hear God's voice. Why would he choose me. Then I look into moses' life. He was a murderer, a man of a bad temper, a coward. After I see this, I know God can talk to anyone. Man, I want that audible voice, but I have realized in my life that God doesn't always talk like that and then sometimes God seems to be silent. For me, I need direction for my family, direction for the children that God wants us to take care of or adopt through foster care. Andrea and I need direction when to use our last embryos in vegas. We also need direction for Alli and homeschooling. There are so many coals in the fire right now that we need direction for. In all these areas, God has not spoken up. We are searching but He is silent. Does this mean that he does not care, or God is busy. I can say with all confidence that God does care and he is not to busy for His children. Then why is He silent. I was reading in my devotions this morning and this verse popped out

Psalm 18:25,26- To the faithful, he shows himself faithful, to the blameless, he is blameless, and to the pure, he shows himself pure". Then God spoke to me. HE said, you concentrate on being faithful where you are at now, concentrate on a blamless walk, and keeping your ways pure. If you do this, I will in perfect timing give you direction and answer those questions. I think the key here, is that we trust God even when he silent to answer knowing that he will reveal what he has for us when he wants and how he wants. I have to trust God, that he knows how to give good gifts and when to give them. If it was up to my timing, I would mess everything up thinking that what I was doing was the best way. I will trust you God and don't rush anything just because I am impatient. In your time Lord, in your time